Can Mismatched Be Cohesive? A Dress Dilemma

When it came to bridesmaid dresses, I knew what I did NOT want:

• A cattlecall at David's Bridal, where everybody is shuffled into overpriced, cookie cutter dresses
• To make my bridesmaids overspend on dresses that they would secretly hate me for
• Four mirror images lined up in my photos

Ok, "not wants"-- easy to determine.  Narrowing down the wants-- a little trickier.  My first thought was that all the 'maids could each go and find a dress in a color I chose.  Until I realized that ever-so-slightly different shades of purple might look off-key.  Then I thought I'd match two and two of the group, providing a little more room for variation.  I tried to think of what colors would work for this, and then began feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to put anybody in a "bad" color or style and  ended up making no choices at all.  I found myself thinking, "Maybe I should just let them where what they want."  But I knew that was not completely what I wanted. 

I've now taken a few steps back and a deep breath. Looking at dress options online w/ 'maid Liz, we stumbled across a photo from Nordstrom's (above) where nothing matched in a traditional sense-- three different designers, different colors, different styles, but it was looked great nonetheless.  A google search for "mismatched bridesmaids" later, and we were on to something.  As you can see in this pic from polkadotbride, you don't have to have carbon copy bridesmaids to have a cohesive look.

Now, I also ran across examples that in my humble opinion did not work.  I won't post pics, but I started to notice common themes in what did not work. (Focusing on "do nots" really can get you to "do's"....eventually.)  Discordant colors; I think a pallette or complimentary color scheme should be in play on some level.  Different levels of formality; the style should resonate on some level.  In one instance, three bridesmaids frame the bride in satiny, cocktail length dresses, but all I could see was the fourth girl, who looked like she had stumbled in from a luau.  On its own, there was nothing wrong with her flower print, rather shapeless, cotton, ankle length dress.  But when paired with the others, I almost heard the sound of a record scratching and everything coming to a halt.  Would've been great at a beach wedding, but clearly, this had been a more formal event.  I would have said length should be similar, but in the sample above, the one long gown still fits beautifully with the rest of the dresses.

Which brings us to my do's.  Which are incredibly tentative.  There must be connective items...this can be color, material, length, hairpieces, shoes, jewelry, shawls...the list goes on.  The point is, it does not have to be the dress itself that builds a connection.  In the image at right, from kvetch.indiebride, the dresses don't match, but their theme does.  They all have a vintage throw back feel.  On closer look, you'll also notice that their headbands, pearls, gloves and lipstick are coordinated. The result?  Unique dresses that result in a pulled together look.  Love it!

Now...to decide what will cordinate my 'maids.  Color?  Dress length? Material? Flowy, bohemian dresses?  A removable forhead tattoo that declares, "KevEm Wedding Party?"  Ooh, removable tats could play a role, since they all have a few anyway....the possibilities are endless. Of course, endless possibilities are not always a good thing for those of us who tend to overthink things.  My poor friends may not be able to start dress shopping for months. ;-)