Let it Grow! Arrival of the Seeds

The upside of ordering my seeds online was the variety. Home Depot is not exactly known for its array of organic and/or heirloom seeds. Good luck finding purple cauliflower there! The downside has been the wait. This last rainy weekend, I kept wishing I had my plants in the ground, ready to soak it all in.



Today, the wait is over. Well, the first part. :) Next comes planting, then hoping and waiting they grow. Followed by waiting and hoping to see if the blooms will last until our Septembember nuptials. Welcome to wedding planning on the edge.

So, if all goes well, my wedding will be full of fresh:

• Cosmos Rose Bon Bon
• Morning Glory - Star of Yelta

• Echinacea
• Painted Daisy
• Double Shirley Poppy
• Giant Aster

Should make for pretty garden as well!  Most of these start to bloom by late spring and keep on truckin' until the fall or even first frost.  In theory.  So they can be a good choice for weddings in the summer too, up through mid-fall.  In case anybody else wants to wait until the last second to know if they'll have flowers or not. :)

Can Mismatched Be Cohesive? A Dress Dilemma

When it came to bridesmaid dresses, I knew what I did NOT want:

• A cattlecall at David's Bridal, where everybody is shuffled into overpriced, cookie cutter dresses
• To make my bridesmaids overspend on dresses that they would secretly hate me for
• Four mirror images lined up in my photos

Ok, "not wants"-- easy to determine.  Narrowing down the wants-- a little trickier.  My first thought was that all the 'maids could each go and find a dress in a color I chose.  Until I realized that ever-so-slightly different shades of purple might look off-key.  Then I thought I'd match two and two of the group, providing a little more room for variation.  I tried to think of what colors would work for this, and then began feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to put anybody in a "bad" color or style and  ended up making no choices at all.  I found myself thinking, "Maybe I should just let them where what they want."  But I knew that was not completely what I wanted. 

I've now taken a few steps back and a deep breath. Looking at dress options online w/ 'maid Liz, we stumbled across a photo from Nordstrom's (above) where nothing matched in a traditional sense-- three different designers, different colors, different styles, but it was looked great nonetheless.  A google search for "mismatched bridesmaids" later, and we were on to something.  As you can see in this pic from polkadotbride, you don't have to have carbon copy bridesmaids to have a cohesive look.

Now, I also ran across examples that in my humble opinion did not work.  I won't post pics, but I started to notice common themes in what did not work. (Focusing on "do nots" really can get you to "do's"....eventually.)  Discordant colors; I think a pallette or complimentary color scheme should be in play on some level.  Different levels of formality; the style should resonate on some level.  In one instance, three bridesmaids frame the bride in satiny, cocktail length dresses, but all I could see was the fourth girl, who looked like she had stumbled in from a luau.  On its own, there was nothing wrong with her flower print, rather shapeless, cotton, ankle length dress.  But when paired with the others, I almost heard the sound of a record scratching and everything coming to a halt.  Would've been great at a beach wedding, but clearly, this had been a more formal event.  I would have said length should be similar, but in the sample above, the one long gown still fits beautifully with the rest of the dresses.

Which brings us to my do's.  Which are incredibly tentative.  There must be connective items...this can be color, material, length, hairpieces, shoes, jewelry, shawls...the list goes on.  The point is, it does not have to be the dress itself that builds a connection.  In the image at right, from kvetch.indiebride, the dresses don't match, but their theme does.  They all have a vintage throw back feel.  On closer look, you'll also notice that their headbands, pearls, gloves and lipstick are coordinated. The result?  Unique dresses that result in a pulled together look.  Love it!

Now...to decide what will cordinate my 'maids.  Color?  Dress length? Material? Flowy, bohemian dresses?  A removable forhead tattoo that declares, "KevEm Wedding Party?"  Ooh, removable tats could play a role, since they all have a few anyway....the possibilities are endless. Of course, endless possibilities are not always a good thing for those of us who tend to overthink things.  My poor friends may not be able to start dress shopping for months. ;-)

Dresses, A Disclaimer

As I drove to work, I found myself mulling over last night's post, and wanted to add a quick disclaimer. When I say finding "THE dress," I am not endorsing the notion that every girl has an elaborate gown out there, just waiting to make her feel like a princess, or that this dress must be found at all costs.  What I am saying is that by searching around, you can find something that feels just right FOR YOU.  For me, part of what felt "just right" was staying within my budget.  I would not have been truly happy with anything that I overspent on.  For others, just right could mean a bright red sun dress.  The concept of THE dress is situational, which is what makes it obtainable.  And that concludes my thoughts on wedding dress shopping. :)

Savoring the Taste of...My Own Words

Ok, so I have to eat the words from my last post.  True love-- of a wedding dress-- found me this weekend. 

After a 45 minute drive to Rockville, MD and an odd entrance that involved going through the lobby of Dogtopia, I arrived at St. Anthony's Bridal.  This place is nothing short of a miracle! They are a not-for-profit that help brides have an affordable, beautiful wedding day.  Brides that meet their criteria can borrow a dress, decorations, plates, runners, just about everything for........no charge.  Zip.  Nada.  To qualify, you must:

1. Plan to have fewer than 100 guests.
2. Have a budget of under $3,000 for the reception.
3. Be within 60 miles of the shop.

Don't meet these criteria, or want to own your dress?  Only $150 buys any dress in the store!  And these are great gowns; many are designer.  Most are either samples or last season's dresses donated by high-end boutiques, or "worn once" dresses from area brides.  Buying the dress, vs. borrowing, also helps to fund this amazing place, a godsend for budget brides in the DC metro area.  And the volunteers are super supportive, really, they treated me as well as any boutique.  These are people who love weddings, love brides and just want to help you acheive a perfect day without going into debt. 

I also reserved TONS of great items that will allow my reception to come in at $3,000-- plates, linens, centerpieces, even a chocolate fountain!  This translates into us being able to self-cater most of the food without paying for expesenive rentals of chafing dishes, etc.  Also, it is even greener than my original plan of buying biodegradable plates and cups, since nothing will be disposable. 

Ok, I got off topic raving about St. Anthony's. :)  Back to my point...THE Dress.  It was the first one I put on when we got there and I literally sighed when I looked in the mirror.  It just felt right.  And I felt beautiful.  Finally.  Very Grace Kelly; intricate beading on top, flowing into a sleek A-line.  I plan to have the train removed but, otherwise, it fits perfectly.  I tried on a few more because I like to be thorough, but I knew it was THE one.  So, I must eat my words.  There really is such a thing as putting on a dress and just falling in love.  And the good news is, if you are willing to shop around, and maybe explore some less traditional avenues, you can accomplish it while staying on budget.  A happily-ever-after ending to my search for a perfect dress.

Finding "The One"

Even now, late at night, as my house sleeps around me, I hear them.  Their wise voices, mystically chanting:

"You will just know."

"It will feel right."

"The One will find you."

I'm not talking about finding true love.  No, if only it were that easy.  I'm talking about finding............THE dress.  Maybe if I was one of the $10,000 dress budget girls on "Say Yes to the Dress," the task would be easy.  For $10k, lots of great dresses will happily find you.  For budget of $400 or less (preferably much, much less), I am resigned to consign, haunting Craigslist, oncewed.com and my favorite consignment boutique, LaBella Bridal.  I keep looking for "new" dresses at each, hoping that my size, ever-changing taste and budget will one day align. 

The first dress I tried on, back in February, was an Alvina Valenta beauty (left), made of duchess silk with hand-sewn details.  Don't let the picture fool you-- put on a real-live person, steamed and with crinoline, GORGEOUS.  And, sadly, $450 out of my price range.  Also, I was not sure if I wanted to be quite that, well, fancy or buy the very first dress I tried on. 

A wedding planner advised me that if it was question of a few hundred dollars, I could make that up somewhere else in the wedding, like the favors.  Which is solid advice, except that keeping my costs down is SO important to me.  I just don't want to feel wasteful.  On the other hand, I am beginning to be wasteful of my time, as I keep searching for The One. 

My latest trip to LaBella resulted in conflicting favorties from each bridesmaid, and support for EVERY dress from a very nice group of women there for their own dresses.  They provided a lovely ego boost, but did nothing for my confusion.  The bride in their group bought a dress that, quite frankly, made ME start to cry even though I didn't know her from Margaret Thatcher.  I'd overheard her mom say they had been searching for quite awhile, but that this dress was The One.

Anxious for guidance, I asked her how she had found it.  "I tried on a hundred dresses.  I even bought another dress.  But I put this one on, and I just knew."

So far all I know, is this dress finding is more work than it should be.  I do have Plan B, the $100 Ebay dress.  It is actually lovely, an Alfred Sung chiffon A-line with a sweetheart neck.  (Ha, I knew NONE of these terms a few months ago!!)  But, it's just not........The One.  Still, I'm about ready to  let it be the one I end up wearing so I can move on with my life. 

In Sickness & In Health

I think if we need to reduce the word count for the ceremony, we are safe cutting "in sickness & health."  It is almost redundant after this weekend.  In addition to the occassional chicken soup & TLC that is part of any relationship, we are now 1-1 for accompanying each other to the local hospital. 

In my case, I was a willing patient.  If things are not feeling right, I'm all about the better safe than sorry.  K, on the other hand, suffers from an unfortunate chronic condition:  being a man.  Which meant a week of my begging him to get checked out before he finally relented (under intense peer pressure from our friends, I might add).  So rather than Urgent Care on Friday morning, we instead found ourselves at Potomac Hopsital at 10 pm on a Saturday.  Not exactly a traditional date night. 

That being said, I was glad to be there for him, and know that he truly appreciated my company and care.  K does not make you guess on these things; he is quick to show appreciation.  He's good at that positive reinforcement stuff. :)  Also, it was  a relief to see him doing a bit better and know that the task of unraveling the mystery of his labored breathing had finally started.  Hopefully by this time tomorrow, I'll be back to the routine of typing very, very quietly so as not to wake him with my night owl ways.  Ready to take a break from the sickness, & get back to the health part of our partnership.  That's the plan!

Finally, A Way To Incorporate My Wine Bottle "Collection"

At some point, many bottles ago, I started saving bottles to make wine lights.  The first iteration involved shoving the cord through the top.  They were pretty enough, but a bit primitive.  Eventually, I took the leap and bought a diamond drill bit, in an ill-fated attempt to make them Etsy-worthy & start a shop.  Here, the story takes a dark turn (get it, light/dark? Nevermind, I should sleep soon!!). 

The bottles were crazy hard to drill and the diamond bit wore out, as did my motivation.  Well, my motivation to actually DO something with the bottles.  Somehow, the motivation to SAVE them never died.  As space in my basement closet disappeared, I still convinced myself that I would pick up the old drill again any day now.  Fast forward a few months later, and the wine bottles have a purpsoe again.  They are crying out to be DIY centerpieces in our DIY wedding.  This would combine two of my favorite things:  recycling and rationalization. 

The question remained-- HOW would I put all of these empties to good use?  A simple idea is using them as water carafes on the tables, as shown here on re.nest.com:

While that idea is a keeper, I still wanted something that included put the "DO" in DYI.  Loved the idea of turning the bottles into vases (recycling, ratioalizing AND reducing costs-- now you're talking!), but all the methods I knew of were very time consuming and had a low success rate.  As in, you have to break a few bottles to get a good vase.

That's why I'm so excited to stumble across this video, demonstrating how to use a super simple method that reportedly works 90% of the time.  According to my new hero, Dan Roja, just follow these steps:

• 
  
  Score the bottle-- just one time around will do
• 
  
  Set a pot of water to boil
• 
  
  Place the bottle over a sink, with cool water available
• 
  
  Gently pour the boiling water over the score
• 
  
  Then, run cool water over the top
• 
  
  Repeat until-- POP!  The bottle separates

Of course, I'm paraphrasing.  If you are going to try this project, check the video for more specifics.  I can't wait to give this a try this soon; will report back.  I'd say I'll do it this weeked, but it's supposed to be 70 degrees, sunny AND there's an environomental film fest in DC.  Have a feeling I won't be home much. :) 

Wine bottles find new fab form & function at www.greenwinebottles.com. 

Mine will probably not look quite this good. :)

Everything's Coming Up Daisies...

...and Asters, and Cosmos, and Lavendar and other late blooming flowers.  Just ordered a bunch of seeds from The Bear Foot Shaman on Etsy, in preparation for "Operation Grow My Own Bouquet."  Incidentally, The Shaman has a great variety of flowers, heirloom veggies, medicinal herbs...highly recommend a "trip" to her shop to get yourself thinking spring.  Found myself drooling at all the beautiful and exotic fruits & veggies featured.  Couldn't resist adding some purple cauliflower & a few tomatoes to my purchase (I really must get a bigger yard one of these days!!).

My plan is to start a bunch of seedlings, plant a few and then share the overflow with friends and family to plant as well.  Hedging my bets!  They get the gift of a colorful garden, I get the gift of flowers grown and tended with love.  Oh-- and a huge cost savings!  In theory.  Really counting on my friend who grew up running a garden center. Yes, Carl, the pressure is ON! 

Plan B is run to Trader Joe's at the last second and make a boquet from whatever they have on hand.  So...hoping for lots of sunshine, and a decent amount of rain, I suppose, this growing season.  Fingers crossed!

Borrowed from the Bear Foot Shaman's site:
"You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt." - Unknown

Best Craigslist Trip Ever

It all started as a quest for a fantastic deal on paper lantern lights for the wedding.  For only $50 and a trip to Falls Church, we could have a box full of lantern lights; small, large, colored, white, almost 30 strands and several single "globes."  I'd done my homework, and knew that ONE colored strand retails for $13 at World Market. 


Deciding to make a night of it, we headed for dinner at Sweet Water Tavern and then made our way to.....the best CL trip EVER!  We followed the seller into her basement, which turned out to be a treasure trove.  As she dug out the lights, we got to chatting about our wedding, learning that it was going to have a lot in common with hers (lakeside, spending a few days at the lake beforehand, DIY, lot of friends/family help, budget).  Next thing you know, she was throwing in the EXACT pitchers I'd been looking for to serve sangria & lemonade, gorgeous wooden cutting boards for cheese and bread & other great items for our wedding.

Our purchase also "bought" us lots of great ideas and a healthy dose of inspiration.  She'd had her four-day, lakeside affair for only $3,000.  We saw pictures (she highly recommended her photographer-- what sounded like her big splurge for the event).  It looked like a beautiful wedding.  We've been stressing over various expenses, how hard it might be to self-cater, etc, etc.  She had tips on food that can be made ahead AND even on getting some aspects of the wedding sponsored.  Her success story was right on time!

Easter Finds for the Flower Girls

Another big "check" off the list; scored amazing deals on flower girl dresses for K's three nieces, by shopping the Easter dress selection at Marshall's.  Got three adorable ivory dresses-- satin tops, lacy, full bottom with a lace flower for only $30 each.  Comparable dresses at a nearby bridal boutique ran in the $100 range.  I guess timing IS everything.  Next up:  buying their flower baskets at the day after Easter sales. ;-)

A Picture is Worth....????

Oddly enough, my quest to be green (& save green!!) by combing the 'net for resale items to use in my wedding may have backfired from a budget perspective  Don't get me wrong, I'm finding deals & have even gotten great tips and good wishes from recent brides who have been there, done that.  However, as people send me pictures of their goods for sale, I am beginning to question my choice to not hire a photographer.

My original thought process was that I have enough amateaur shutterbugs on my guest list to just let the photo cards fall where they may.  I even considered setting up a laptop where guests will be encouraged to upload photos through out the event. 

But, as I see picture after picture of private moments poignantly captured for eternity, softly shaded  sideways glances, silent smiles that whisper "I'm so in love," flower girls caught doing cartwheels.......sigh.  Perhaps it would be smart to not leave the recording of this special day to chance.

Still, I have a budget to stick to.  I wonder if anybody has had any luck with using the services of new photographers looking to build their portfolio?  I'm picturing a smaller payment balanced by offering to promote their services to anybody willing to listen. :)  Ok, sounds like I have a NEW Craigslist mission to attend to!!

Defining A “Budget” Wedding

I’d always thought it was wasteful to blow a ton of money on weddings, which are, at the end of the day...well, just one day. We have a kitchen to remodel, a fence to build, vacations to plan...LOTS of days worth of projects to fund. No high-dollar wedding for us, no sir.
Confident that we could plan a fabulous wedding for $3,000, I began googling “budget weddings.” Imagine my surprise when people were patting themselves on the back for coming in under $25,000. My car costs less than that! Actually, that is my car + our van + his car!! (No judgement, just an eye opener.) Doing more research, the cheapest local venue that I saw was $1,200, IF you used their caterer.

Now, my goal may still have been achievable if our early statements about a guest list of 50 people had been on target. Instead, when we started typing names into our handy Excel spreadsheet, the total was closer to 50 names from EACH of us. Of course, there were also many little costs I just had not thought of. Things like forks and plates, for instance. Although, serving out of troughs would be one way to cut down the guest list…

So, a bit wiser, I have now reluctantly raised the budget to $6,000. Part of me feels guilty, like I’m “caving” to the "wedding industrial complex." On the other hand, I am not being extravagant, and things cost what they cost. Our list is too big for a backyard wedding, and the local parks do not allow alcohol. Or indoor plumbing, for that matter.

Which led us to the lake house…which, while our biggest single expenditure by far, is a bargain. For under $2,000, less than it would cost to rent a traditional venue/banquet hall for 5 hours, we get:

• Luxury accommodations for ourselves & entire bridal party
• A 4-fer…site for our rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception AND after-party, where we can hang lakeside with our nearest & dearest post-reception. Did I mention the waterfront firepit?
• TONS of time to set up & breakdown, a huge plus for a DIY wedding
• Pre-honeymoon—with check-in 4 days prior to the wedding, we are going to take a few days to enjoy the lake alone together before our helpers join us
• A way to thank to our helpers, who also get to enjoy a weekend at the lake in an amenity-packed home

I could go on, but think this is enough to successfully rationalize the lake house expenditure. Which in turn lets me feel ok (mostly) with our $6,000 budget. Now the hard part—sticking to it!! But, I'm on the right track-- just ordered a wedding gown on Ebay for....drum roll please...$100 plus shipping. Fingers crossed that it looks as good in person as it does online.
So, in the end, I guess "budget" wedding is what you make of it. Are you getting value for your spending? Making use of your skills? Saying "no" from time to time? Utilizing Craigslist, Ebay, your best friend's attic? Spending within your means/NOT incurring debt? Maybe I'm just saying this as part of my rationalization process, but I think a budget wedding is more a state of mind than a number.

And so it starts...the new blog

I have decided to venture beyond the limitations of the blog built into our wedding website. While I'd still recommend http://www.momentville.com/ for its simplicity & good range of basic functionalities-- post pictures, imbed hyperlinks, play music (personally, not a fan of sites that blast music when I open them, but they have it if you want it...) & collect RSVP info all at no charge. However, I wanted a bit more flexibility for my blog. Now, let's see if I actually use it. :)

So, where did I leave off? We've gotten a few big items off the check list, which is good, because our wedding date is exactly 7 mos., 10 days after the proposal date. Which, at this point, means it is only 6 months away! No shotgun wedding scandals; I just didn't realize this was considered a short turn around for wedding planning. Especially one with a DIY/budget focus! The upside: less time to over analyze & sweat the small stuff.

Ok, progress report: We have found a lovely home in Lake Anna where we will hold the ceremony & reception. E-save the dates have been sent to key players. I am in talks with a local musician that I love & have even purchased the wine since Safeway was offering 30% off their entire selection. 18 bottles later, & I think we are set on that front. Three big wedding items down, only like 1,000 to go. Click here to read my earlier posts on finding a location & putting ONE DAY in perspective.